At Least Once A Week

Well, at least once a week I do something dingy. Some of you might remember my story from about a month ago about walking out my garage door to get in my van for work and realizing I forgot I I had my shirt in my hand…not on my body. Just an example of my true ding song abilities. So, I thought I’d share one of my latest tales.

A coworker and I have started carpooling 3 days a week. So one day last week Samara called to tell me she was on her was to get me. I was watching for her so I wouldn’t be late. I saw a white suv pull up out front so I confidently went out my front door, opened the car door (thinking Samara drove her fiances car that day) , took the papers and purse off the seat and sat down. No one was in the drivers seat so I said “Samara, where are you?” As I turned around to look in the back seat. You might be wondering what happened next?

Samara was not in the back seat! You see, my neighbor across the street watches kids from her house and someone was dropping her baby off. And I had just bardged right into her car, rearranged her front seat and made myself at home while she’s trying to get her infant out of the backseat!!!

After removing myself from her vehicle my friend showed up in her car. Let me paint this picture for you. Samara drives a black suv, the car I got into was a white Chevy Blazer, Samara’s fiancée’s car (that I thought I was getting into….silver Ford Explorer). How dumb am I???

I wish you could all have seen the look on that poor girls face.

Piggy Tails

So, I woke up late this morning.  I was tired and quite frankly did not want to get out of bed and  go to work.  After a long discussion with myself (Yes, I do talk to myself!), I decided to get up and get going.  I was running a tad late, thanks to the conversation I had in my bed…with myself, so I had to rush a bit.  I was not in the mood to mess with my hair so I decided to put my hair in piggy tails.  Now, I know I am not a child anymore but come on, a girl can wear piggys if she so desires right?  Well, by the time I had been at work for about an hour or so I had to go to the little girls room.  As I stood in front of the mirror washing my hands I looked at the middle-aged woman with grey hair staring back at me.   So I said to myself, “Kara Sawyer, what on earth were you thinking?”

Sometimes I wonder when did life start going by so fast?  When did I go from piggy tails to grey hair?  When did I become a grown up with all this responsibility?  When did I become someone who 4 little girls look up to for guidance on how to be a Godly woman, a wife, a friend and a momma?  Such responsibility is frightening.  With Mother’s Day approaching I have been thinking what makes a mom a good mom?  Does she always look put together?  Does she have a spotless house and a 5 course meal on the table each night?  Does she have perfect children?  Are her children so well-behaved that she never has to raise her voice at them?  Is her laundry always caught up?

If this is what makes a woman a good mom, I am not qualified.  In fact I sometimes leave my house with my hair in piggy tails and sometimes I go to the store in my pajama pants.  My house is NEVER spotless and sometimes I fix Spaghetti-O’s for dinner.  My children are not perfect, sometimes Makensie says things like “I just farted and it was awesome” when we are in public.  I raise my voice at my children on average 5 times a day.  And I have a mountain of laundry in the corner of my room.  But guess what?  I have a God that loves me and chose me to be momma to Julie, Makensie, Abbie and Aubrie.  He trusted me enough that even with my faults and my mistakes He knew that I would raise 4 beautiful young ladies that love God, love their Momma and their Daddy and are growing up to be something great.  I have no doubt that one day they will sit back and look at their family and wonder where did the time go?  Why did God entrust me, Kara Lynn Sawyer, to raise these girls?  Truth is, I don’t know why.  But I do know that when I am weak, He is strong.  And with God on my side, I am the best mom I can be.

She’s Growing so Fast

14 years ago today I became a momma for the first time.  I know what you are thinking “Kara Sawyer is not old enough to have a 14 year old”, and you are correct.  I’m only 20 years old.  (ha ha ha)   I am not going to lie, it was a LONG road.  I was induced on April 30, 1997 at 6:00am.  At 3:43pm on May 1st, my life was changed forever. No, that is not an error, I was in labor for 33 and 1/2 hours!   Nothing about birthing that child was easy!   I’d always heard that you don’t know true love until you become a parent.  That is so true.  Julie Lynn was beautiful when I first laid eyes on her, and she has gotten more and more beautiful each day since then.

Now, you know me…I’m an honest person, I’m pretty much just a surface level kind of girl.  So, let’s be honest.  Having a newborn baby was no bed of roses.  That child cried from the moment she was born until she turned 12 weeks old.  The only way she would stop crying was for me to lay her on my chest to sleep.  So, for 12 weeks that is how she and I survived.  I have always said I do not wish for my worst enemy to have a baby with colic.  She taught be patience.  She  taught me how to laugh.  She gave meaning to my life.

Today my sweet baby girl turned 14 years old.  That’s two years away from getting her drivers licence (if that doesn’t scare you, something is wrong).  Julie is the best big sister EVER!  When she comes home from a weekend at her dad’s house, her sisters eyes light up.  Julie has the biggest heart.  She loves people.  Julie puts others needs before her own needs.  And I might be a tad biased, but she is a beautiful young lady, on the inside even more than her physical appearance.  Don’t get me wrong, she is a teenage girl….so we have our drama, we have our tears, she is truly a dingy blond, we have our moments that I want to lock her in a closet and not let her out.  But I would not change one thing about my Julie.

So, Happy Birthday Julie Lynn.  You light up my life.  You make me so proud to be your momma.  You make my heart overflow.  I love your guts sweet girl.

One small mistake

Last year in June I had my gallbladder removed.  It was a “simple outpatient surgery”.  Thousands of people have this surgery every day.  I went in at 8:00am and was home by noon.  I was super nauseas that day and in pain, but I was told that was normal.  Over the next two days I did not eat much, did not drink much and because of that I became dehydrated.  On Wednesday night I went to the Urgent Care to get some IV fluids thinking that would change the way I felt.  Well, it did not.  On Thursday I got much worse.  The pain and nausea were unbearable, so I went to the ER.  They did lab work and admitted me because my liver enzymes were abnormal.

The next few days I had several tests done on my abdomen and a couple of procedures to look at my digestive system.  After 5 days I was sent home. The next few days were filled with doctor visits, blood tests to monitor my elevating liver enzymes, and still no real answers about what was wrong with me.  I was very blessed that Brock was able to take care of the girls during all of this because I was worthless.  We did not understand why months earlier he was laid off at his job, and why God would allow that to happen.  We later realized that God knew that our family would need him at home during this time in our life.

Several weeks later I went to another doctor for a liver biopsy.  I was told that if they saw something while they were doing the biopsy that they wanted permission to fix it.  I, of course, gave my permission knowing in my heart that everything would be fine.  Boy, was I wrong!!  Turns out the surgeon left a clamp on my common bile duct during my gallbladder surgery, which stopped bile from exiting my liver.  To shorten this long story, my liver created it’s own opening and sprung a leak into my abdomen.  It pretty much goes down hill from there!  I spent most of the summer in the hospital.

Now, 10 months later, I am still suffering from one person’s mistake.  I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately because of the nausea.  It has made me think a lot about life.  Everyone makes mistakes.  All of us sin.  But sometimes our mistakes and our sins will affect others.  Sometimes our sins can cause pain, heartache and confusion for those around us.  Who knew that after 20 minutes in the Operating Room 10 months ago would change my life forever?  What an incredible lesson God has taught me through all of this.

One doctor left a surgical clamp in me after surgery.  This one mistake has snowballed into so much more.  This is something that I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life.  Isn’t sin just like that?  One tiny sin leads to a little bit bigger sin, and so on and so on.  Sometimes God has to knock us upside our head to get our attention and teach us a lesson.  This is one of those times in my life.

April 3rd

Every time I see a plastic Easter egg it makes my heart swell.  Not because I love stuffing them with candy for my kids, not because my mom used to put pennies in them when I was little, not because my kids get a zillion of them each year from all the grandparents and Easter bunny and not because I like the pretty colors.  Instead, Easter eggs remind me of the day I asked Jesus into my heart 17 years ago.  I went to an Easter service at a local church on April 3rd and my life was changed.  I heard a story that I had never heard before, I was told about a God who loves me no matter what.  I will never forget that day.  Tomorrow, April 3rd, my two youngest girls are getting baptized.  How awesome is that?

This past couple of weeks has been a little bit discouraging for me.  I’ve been sick quite a bit lately, I’m a little discouraged at my job, Brock and I are seeking wisdom in career moves, our 13-year-old daughter is going through some tough stuff with silly middle school drama and life is just hectic.  Last Sunday at church everyone was given a card with a scripture on it.  No one had the same scripture and the ushers did not know what scripture they were giving to each person.  But God knew.  The scripture I got was Psalm 73:26 “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”  I am not going to lie, I have had to read that scripture several times this week.  But each time I read it, it’s like I am looking at a plastic Easter egg and my heart is so full.

 

It’s Twins!!

Six years ago this Thursday we welcomed twin girls into our family.  I will say that they were not planned, but I cannot imagine our home without them.  I have learned and experienced so much being the mother of identical twin girls.  So, I wanted to share some things with you.

First, people say the dumbest things to parents of twins.  Over the past six years we have heard it all.  Here are some of the questions we have gotten:

• Are they twins? (Um, no they just look exactly alike)
• Are they the same-sex? (No, we just dress the boy as a girl)
• Did you have them vaginally? (WHAT?  Who asks that?)
• How much weight did you gain with them? (Really?)
• Did you breast feed both of them at the same time? (Who needs to know that?)

Those are just a few of my favorite questions.  Those were questions people asked when they were babies.  Now that they are older the most common question is asked to the girls, not to me.  Complete strangers ask Abbie and Aubrie 2 questions almost on a daily basis: 1) Are you twins? and 2) Do you like being twins?

Raising twin girls has been exciting and challenging.  Our girls have always done everything together, and I do mean everything.  I had them on a strict schedule when they were babies.  Therefore, they ate at the same time, slept at the same time and well,  they pooped at the same time.  I can promise you that to this day they still do all three of those things at the exact same time.  They are so sweet with each other.  When one of them is hurt or sick the other one is right there beside her sister loving on her, rubbing her back and wiping away her tears.  They are so in sync with each other, it’s amazing and a little spooky.

God gave me a surprise blessing, times two,  six years ago.   They make me laugh, they give me lots of grey hair and they make my heart so full.  I cannot image life without my sweet Abbie Grace and Aubrie Hope.

Squishy

Abbie has a favorite pillow.   Her name is Squishy.  Squishy is soft and pink, she is a girl.  She is a very important part of Abbie’s life.  She has been a part of Abbie’s life for many years now.  She goes everywhere with Abbie. She has slept with Abbie for five years now.   Many days we have to take her in the car with us, buckle her up and bring her back to pick Abbie up from school.  Squishy has feelings.  None of our other kids have anything else like this.  I guess it is her security.  Squishy is dingy, stained and worn out.  I had to perform surgery on Squishy tonight.  She has a laceration and is leaking the teeny tiny beads from  inside her.  After sewing Squishy up for the second time this week, I had to tell Abbie that Squishy is getting very fragile.  She needs to take care of Squishy because she is old and delicate.  So, after a few tears Abbie very serious and sweetly said “Like Granny?”

Sawyer Mafia

Brock and I are convinced that our children are part of the mafia.  It does not matter what the situation is, no one knows who did it, no one saw anything and no one will fess up.  Tonight I went into the kitchen cabinet to get out a snack.  I keep 100 calorie snacks around for me and buy regular snacks for the rest of the family.  I had one package of 100 calorie Hostess Ding Dongs left as of yesterday.  When I went to get my snack, the box was in the cabinet totally empty.  So, I asked “who ate my last Ding Dongs”?   I immediately hear their famous words “It wasn’t me momma”, “I didn’t eat it momma”, “I never eat your snacks momma”.  I proceed to ask more questions all with the same response.  It’s like a dead-end road.  Last week someone wrote on one of the chairs in my van with a permanent marker.  “Who colored on my van chair?”  The response “I didn’t do it momma”, “I don’t color on chairs momma”, “I don’t know who did it momma”.  About three weeks ago Brock noticed that Makensie had bangs, bangs cut to her scalp that is.  This was a new look for her since her hair has been all one length for most of her little life.  “Makensie, who cut your hair?”.  “I don’t know, I didn’t cut it”.  Really?  Someone broke into our house in the middle of the night, snuck into her room, cut her hair to the scalp just in that one spot?  Yep, according to her, that must be what happened!  To this day, she has no recollection of  how her hair got cut.

What are we going to do when these three musketeers are teenagers?  We are in big trouble!!

Madonna and God?

For those of you who know me, you know that I am a surface level kind of girl.  However, once in a blue moon I have a Kara Deep Thought.  So, here it is.  Saturday, while in the shower, I was listening to the radio.  My favorite station is an “oldies” station.  You know, songs from the 80’s and 90’s, really OLD stuff.  While singing my heart out (I do my very best singing in the shower), I heard a Madonna song.  And the lyrics reminded me of God.  I know what you are thinking…Madonna and God? In the same sentence?  Well, give me a chance and read these lyrics and think about it for a minute.

Open Your Heart

I see you on the street and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry
If you gave me half the chance you’d see
My desire burning inside of me
But you choose to look the other way
I’ve had to work much harder than this
For something I want don’t try to resist me

Open your heart to me, baby
I’ll hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin’
I’ll give you love if you, you turn the key

I think that you’re afraid to look in my eyes (oh baby)
You look a little sad boy, I wonder why
I follow you around but you can’t see
You’re too wrapped up in yourself to notice
So you choose to look the other way
Well, I’ve got something to say
Don’t try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from tryin’, you’ve got to

Open your heart to me, baby
I’ll hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin’
I’ll give you love if you, you turn the key

Open your heart with the key
One is such a lonely number

Ah, ah, ah, ah
Open your heart, I’ll make you love me
It’s not that hard, if you just turn the key

Don’t try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from tryin’, you’ve got to

Open your heart to me, baby
I’ll hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin’
I’ll give you love if you, you turn the key

Open your heart with the key

Open your heart, I’ll make you love me
It’s not that hard, if you just turn the key

The part of the song that really stuck out to me is when it says “I follow you around but you can’t see.  You’re too wrapped up in yourself to notice me.  So you choose to look the other way”.  That is how God works.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the everyday hum drum woes of life and ourselves that we don’t notice that God is right beside us.  The chorus talks about “I’ll hold the lock and you hold the key.  Open your heart with the key”.  God has given us the key, we just have to be willing to use it.  The best part of the song says “Don’t try to run I can keep up with you.  Nothin can stop me from tryin”.  WOW!  How cool is that?  God’s never going to give up, He will always be right be right beside you.  He doesn’t give up.

Girl fight!

As I mentioned before I have four sweet innocent young ladies living in my house.  There is never ever a dull moment in our house.  Yesterday after church I was standing in the church parking lot talking to a friend.  The girls wanted to go wait in the van.  So, Julie took the keys and they sat in the van.  After my conversation, I opened the door to my van to hear a blood curdling scream.  I looked in the back seat to find Makensie and Abbie screaming at each other and both were crying.  After getting everyone to calm down, I asked what happened?  I am still not clear on the events that transpired, however apparently Abbie touched Makensie’s shoe.  Makensie then slapped her sister on the back as hard as she could.  Immediately after that, Abbie grabbed a huge chunk of Makensie’s hair and pulled as hard as she could.  And from there it all went down hill.  The best part of this story is Aubrie.  I looked in the middle seats (while chaos was running rampant in the back seat) and Aubrie was sitting in her seat smiling.  “I didn’t do anything momma”.  Makensie did calm down long enough to ask me if we could go out to eat for lunch.  Are you kidding me?

Somehow I feel like this will not be our last girl fight in the Sawyer household.